[rominer]

1. Add the punchline.

2. People who like playing with numbers, chime in.

Nick Green's OPS by month:

• April: .782
  
• May: .784
  
• June: .698
  
• July: .472
  
• August: .495

Uh, yeah. That's some big league suck of late.

Nick Green's BAbip by month:

• April: .342
  
• May: .386
  
• June: .264
  
• July: .189
  
• August: .174

That's some big league piss poor luck the last couple of months.

Or, on the other hand, maybe not. If we want to go with the simplistic (but convenient) "line drive % tells the real story," I'm going to go out on a limb and say that his overall '09 number of 14% is a pretty clear indicator of craptasticality. (Also by this measure, as it turns out, Jason "16%" Bay is worth less than a Loonie.)

So...do we use the new RSN Twitter account to put the call out for a hit on Nick Green? Or is Nick Green on the verge of getting his first* hit since June 6?


*Just about.

This post has been edited by rominer: 21 August 2009 - 04:43 PM

[jbelushi]

rominer, on 21 August 2009 - 04:07 PM, said:

1. Add the punchline.

2. People who like playing with numbers, chime in.

Nick Green's OPS by month:

• April: .782
  
• May: .784
  
• June: .698
  
• July: .472
  
• August: .495

Uh, yeah. That's some big league suck.

Nick Green's BAbip by month:

• April: .342
  
• May: .386
  
• June: .264
  
• July: .189
  
• August: .174

That's some big league piss poor luck the last couple of months.

Or, on the other hand, maybe not. If we want to go with the simplistic (but convenient) "line drive % tells the real story," I'm going to go out on a limb and say that his overall '09 number of 14% is a pretty clear indicator of craptasticality. (Also this measure, as it turns out Jason "16%" Bay is worth less than a Loonie.)

So...do we use the new RSN Twitter account to put the call out for a hit on Nick Green? Or is Nick Green on the verge of getting his first* hit since June 6?


*Just about.

i cant do the numbers, sorry.

But this guy does suck, if he made as many clutch hits as apposed to the number of clutch errors then we wouldnt be as far back from the filth as we are now.

He seriously does swing like an out of tune harpsicord, give him a month wiy G0NM and he might get in the groove, if not, at least someone will be smiling.

[Ralpho316]

....but he can play LF!

[chicowalker]

Why did he come in for Bay?

[The Ghost of Ned Martin]

chicowalker, on 21 August 2009 - 11:51 PM, said:

Why did he come in for Bay?

After all those years of losing in Pittsburgh, Bay is desperate to play for a winner, Rumor has it that he sneaked into the Yankees' clubhouse during the game and is seeking asylum.

[chicowalker]

The Ghost of Ned Martin, on 21 August 2009 - 11:57 PM, said:

After all those years of losing in Pittsburgh, Bay is desperate to play for a winner, Rumor has it that he sneaked into the Yankees' clubhouse during the game and is seeking asylum.

come on, serious answer. After the yanks hit yet another just inside the line double, making it 6-1, I started fastforwarding to lessen the inevitable pain. Is bay ok?

[BigSlick]

Apparently I am the only one who gets the point of this thread.

Nick Green is so bad at baseball that Shaquille O'Neill took a break from shooting free throws to laugh at Nick Green's ineptness.

Nick Green is so bad at baseball that Mario Mendoza says "Man, I could hit better than that dude and I'm 59 years old!"

This post has been edited by BigSlick: 22 August 2009 - 08:46 AM

[Youuuuk!]

He is insanely horrible.
He literally does nothing well on the baseball diamond.
He doesn't even do anything average. It's pretty ridiculous that they are DFAing guys like Fernando Cabrera who actually have a little bit of value and have at least so far performed decently, and holding on to Nick Green. I mean, I know there is more depth in pitching in the organization than at Shortstop, but still. I'm pretty sure there are a number of minor leaguers who could perform better than Nick Green.

[The Love Below]

Nick Green is so bad at baseball that Wes Welker is considering some intricate facial hair or major plastic surgery so people stop saying, "Hey, you look just like Nick Green!"

Nick Green is so bad at baseball that OCJ would actually let a prospect take his position.

Nick Green is so bad at baseball that in communist Russia bats hit him.

Nick Green is so bad at baseball that he can't even get to first with his wife.

Nick Green is so bad at baseball that his wife wants DWO to come in as a 'pinch hitter'.

Nick Green is so bad at baseball that he struck out while doing routine tee work with Dave Magadan.

Nick Green is so bad at baseball that he could strike out while playing golf...looking.

Nick Green is so bad at baseball that no one is noticing how utterly ****ing terrible Jason Varitek has been this season.

Nick Green is so bad at baseball that the players association would endorse him using PEDs. In fact they have offered to buy them for him.

[The Love Below]

Slow afternoon, these have been tossed back and forth between me and a couple buddies...

From my friend Tom...

Nick Green is so bad at baseball that the last time he had a hit was when he was singing back-up for En Vogue.

Nick Green is so bad at baseball that Tom Emanski asked him to endorse his latest video What Not to Do.

Nick Green once tried out for the role of Prince Charming in his high school’s production of Cinderella but failed to win the part because he kept missing the ball.

Nick Green is so bad at baseball that he struck out swinging…while trying to turn a double play at short.

Nick Green is so bad at baseball that 20 years from now Boston sportswriters will start a campaign for his Hall of Fame enshrinement calling him the “one of the most fearful hitters” in baseball.

Nick Green is so bad at baseball that the Red Sox issued him a new uniform number: E6

Nick Green is so bad at baseball that his father calls Francona every day to complain about his son’s playing time…he thinks Nick plays too much.

Nick Green is so bad at baseball his one-man Vaudeville act is called “Where Is First?”

Nick Green is so bad at baseball that Dayton Moore just offered to trade Mike Moustakas and Eric Hosmer for him.

Nick Green is so bad at baseball that he gave Jerry Remy cancer just from watching him. (what, too soon?)

Nick Green is so bad at baseball that Dustin Pedroia tries to take him out while turning the double play.

Nick Green is so bad at baseball that Major League Baseball suspended him 50 games for testing positive for performance de-hancing products.

Nick Green is so bad at baseball that the only time he sees four balls is when he showers next to Youk and Papi.

From my buddy Liam...

Nick Green is so bad at baseball that when he got to 3rd, Demarlo Hale yelled “Go home!” and actually meant for him to leave the ball park.

A few more from me...

Nick Green is so bad at baseball that the Peabody Little League team cut him before they went to Williamsport .

Nick Green is so bad at baseball that many fans are thinking back to the 'salad days' of Red Sox Nation, back when Julio Lugo helped the team hoist a World Series trophy.

Nick Green is so bad at baseball. I mean, even Howie Mandel could 'Walk Like a Man'. In fact I'd rather watch 'Walk Like a Man' than 'Any Nick Green At Bat'.

Nick Green is so bad at baseball that is he, in fact, not good at all.

Forrest Griffin hits harder, more often, and more effectively than Nick Green. Probably runs faster while crying, too.

Nick Green is so bad at baseball that bringing back Nomar doesn't sound like some moronic idea that some idiot message board fanboy dreamt up.

Nick Green is so bad at baseball that even his Wikipedia page gets more hits than he does.

[acr]

Nick Green is so bad at baseball that Ryan Jenkins cut his ex-wife into pieces and hanged himself in a Canadian motel.

[Sox Sweep Again]

Nick Green is so bad at baseball that when there was a power outage at Alcor, Ted Williams took a cab and pinch-hit a ground-rule double for him.

[The Love Below]

Nick Green is so bad at baseball that even a move to St. Louis wouldn't turn his career around.

[MrNewEngland]

The Love Below, on 25 August 2009 - 09:56 AM, said:

Nick Green is so bad at baseball that even a move to St. Louis wouldn't turn his career around.

Ouch.

[BigSlick]

The Love Below, on 25 August 2009 - 09:56 AM, said:

Nick Green is so bad at baseball that even a move to St. Louis wouldn't turn his career around.

You win.

[TreeRol]

Nick Green is so bad at baseball, his batting average is only 3 points higher than Papi's.

[BigSlick]

Nick Green is so bad at baseball that he annoyed MGY enough to come back to the board and post about it.

[yazgoesbacklooksupitsgone]

Nick Green is so bad at baseball, the commissioner's office is investigating to see if he has large gambling debts.

Nick Green is so bad at baseball, Jenna Jameson has asked him to ghost write her instructional book to be titled "the art of sucking."

[millar goes yard]

BigSlick, on 25 August 2009 - 03:23 PM, said:

Nick Green is so bad at baseball that he annoyed MGY enough to come back to the board and post about it.

Haha... I've been busy!